A Love Letter

Dear Body,

Hello there!  I don't talk to you very much these days, I know.  I'm sorry.  But look at what you've accomplished!  Look at what you've been through!  Normally when I talk to you, it's bad things, and I don't even want to repeat them here, because this is a love letter.  Today I feel good about you.  No, nothing has changed - you're not more tan or more buff, you're not thinner or stronger and your skin isn't clearer, but you are my body, and the only one I'll have on this earth.  I'm grateful for you.  Shall we reminisce?

See those little poke-holes in your elbow?  That's from when I gave blood over and over and over again - every chance I got!  I gave it because 21 people gave blood for my Mama just after I was born, and because of them, she's alive.  1, 2, 3 on each side, and a couple of them are doubles.  I'm going to keep giving, because her life is worth so much.

Oh, that spot where the hair always grows in!  Ouch, hey?  I know, it's a bugger.  But it always happens, right there, no matter what, and it's just a part of this body, a tiny flaw that makes it this body, special and mine alone.  Remember how every year as a kid I'd pick a 'special' leaf in my big leaf maple tree and visit it every day of the summer?  It was always flawed in some way so it was special and mine.  A tiny hole or misshapen edge made it special!

Oh that line on my legs where my favourite shorts land.  Guess it shows I've been enjoying the summer just for me, not specifically to show off a perfect tan.  You're beautiful even with tan lines, dear body.

There's that little triangular scar on my hand from when I worked at the organic farm when I was 14!  I was cutting beautiful flowers in a hurry, do you remember?  What a beautiful summer that was - and it was my first job!  I learned so much there about food, plants, and the earth.

The two little scars on my face from chicken pox, those are on you from when I was just 4 years old in Switzerland.  Kind of ruined the last couple weeks of vacation, but it made for some pretty cute pictures of a red-spotted little girl in the Swiss Alps with the cows.

And lookie there, the slightly in-turned toe that developed from walking all over campus getting an education.  It was a challenging time, but such a good one, developing amazing relationships and stuffing my head full of incredible facts and learning what I am capable of.

You're beautiful, dear body.

There are the scars, the real ones that show, the ones I keep trying to hide by wearing skirts with my swimsuit.  They weren't there last summer.  I haven't known exactly how to feel about those scars on my leg.  The ones on my shoulder, too.  But body, you carry them well.  They are evidence of pain and conquering, that I didn't give in to the depths, that Jesus held me in the darkest moments.

Funny, not all the things to look at are on the outside, are they, lovely body?  Throughout the day I feel the effects of the challenges you've had to weather with me.  Sometimes my throat burns hours after eating - my tummy just doesn't always stay as shut as it's supposed to, does it?  But the more we practice, the better it gets.  I'm sorry for the headaches you've endured and the bloodshot eyes, and the swollen glands that have come with my eating disorder.  I promise I'm continuing to work on making that happen less and less.

You have bumps and lumps and callouses and moles, soft spots and hard spots, a knee that clicks when it's not supposed to, and arms that flare up in pain after the smallest exertion, but you are mine.  You've carried through good times and bad.  And I'm so grateful that I still have you, and that God has let me live in you, this beautiful, wonderful, perfectly flawed body.

Love always (I promise.  Even when I don't show it),
Sheila  <3