Mosaic of Grace

There's always new life.  Even when the binging/purging comes fast and there's that feeling of being trapped.  But here I am, a new day.  With no mistakes in it yet.  A fresh breeze and the fresh realization that I am here and alive and ready to live new today.  Once again a new resolve - how?  not sure.  But one thing is sure:  My God is patient and he can and will give me the strength that I need.

When will my life start?  It has.  It has.  It just may not always look like the picture book, but that's alright.  Keep promising anew that this way will end here and reach forward to a place where life flows only in one direction, not trying to force things to move quickly and then to force them backward to make them right.  It's a place this gentle breeze can blow away - to move forward and stop building walls.

To see what God has for me, even in the craziness of this life I seem to live in bits and pieces - yet He mends it and makes those fragments into a masterpiece, a mosaic, breaking away the dark spots or using them to create a shadow in the art, needed to see the brilliance of the glorious work He is crafting.

My life - yes it is a Mosaic of Grace of Life, of Glory, of daily inner tragedy and turmoil, yet also of love and dreams and now, a determined clinging to the One who made me, the subject of this art, so that He might, in His way, make me whole.  In a moment of lucidity among my rebel years I wrote a poem, and lines of it keep flitting trough my mind...

... I am blessed to be the me 
that He created,
within a dull and grey-blue sea 
of look-alikes.

For I can be this person,
who I am!
By uniqueness never worsened,
always fresh ...