Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Journeys of a Question-Asker

It began with me loving nature.  And I think the question-asking sprung from there.

Everybody has a story.  Why don't we listen more?  Today I'm thinking about mine.  I heard someone else's.  Now I'm left with bigger questions, but I'm grateful for them.

Why am I here?  Where will I go?  How is it that I'm still riding this river, this journey that flows through peaceful channels and over turbulent, cascading waterfalls.  I've been a Christian much of my life.  But I've also been a Pagan, a Wiccan, a Hindu, a Buddhist, and always a Question-asker.


So I ask those questions.  I won't feel bad for it.

“There is so much deep contradiction in my soul. Such deep longing for God - so deep that it is painful - a suffering continual - and yet not wanted by God - repulsed - empty - no faith - no love - no zeal. Souls hold no attraction - Heaven means nothing - to me, it looks like an empty place - the thought of it means nothing to me and yet this torturing longing for God. Pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him in spite of everything. For I am only His - so He has every right over me. I am perfectly happy to be nobody even to God. . . .

Your devoted child in Jesus Christ,
Mother. Teresa” 

Why do I worry over my questions when I see, within the chaos in this world, so many beautiful answers.  So many beautiful moments.  So many terrifyingly incredible waves of catastrophic glory.  So I am left here wondering, reveling in the chaotic masterpiece of my soul and the souls around me.
Let's listen to the masterpiece for a moment, let's stop to hear the sound of the beauty in the hypocrisy of our own hearts.  Maybe those questions will be the most beautiful sounds we have heard in a long, long time.

Sheila

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